Sticky Labels

Looking with fresh eyes, heart and mind at 3 New Testament Women

Nov 26, 2022

“What is repugnant to every human being is to be reckoned always as a member of a class and not as an individual person.” (Dorothy Sayers, Are Women Human?)

Me at seminary graduation (back row third from left) with seven other question girls (who refuse to be labeled)

Why Labels Stick … and Hurt

I grew up a church girl who loved learning. I was always the first to raise my hand and answer my Sunday School teacher’s questions, or study the names of the books of the Bible extra hard so I could win at sword drill. One Sunday evening when I was about 13 years old, I arrived at church with my dad. I loved my brand new outfit selected for the evening service: brown corduroy pants, vest, and a long sleeve beige tee shirt underneath.

My hair was carefully blow dried (which, in the days before hair gel and mousse, only made it curlier), so I might possibly have looked like I had a brown labradoodle puppy on my head. I was still getting used to my new height, so though I could ski down a mountain or gallop one of our quarter horses with ease, on my own two feet I typically ambulated with awkwardness. I wasn’t quite at home in my adolescent body yet. But this night, for once I felt like I was in style.

My dad pushed open the heavy front door of the church and we walked through into warmth and light and community. Then a man approached. I didn’t recognize him, but I found out later he worked for the denomination and came by our church periodically to see how things were going.

“Frank, how are you doing?” he boomed with a big smile. My dad shook his hand and they talked for a minute. I was standing a few steps away, feeling uncomfortable as usual. Suddenly my dad moved to the side and the man stepped toward me, even louder this time, and practically shouted. “Who is this fine young man? Introduce me to your son!”

If ever I wished I could rewind and delete a piece of real life, that was the time. I didn’t know what to say. Neither did my dad.

It was a small thing, and the man meant nothing by it. No harm done, right? But it was the next moment that killed me. I can still see it, hear it, and feel it. As soon as the man realized I was a young woman, not a young man, he deflated. Literally.

As soon as the man realized I was a young woman, not a young man, he deflated. Literally.

In his mind he had been seeing a clean cut, handsome, strong, and upright young man, a potential up and coming leader of the church. But when he realized I was a girl the interest vanished…forever. I went to that church for many years after and I don’t think he ever knew my name though he continued to make his quarterly visits.

It still haunts me. That “fine young man” label had floated through the air and stuck to me. It was a small moment, really, but I still remember how uncomfortable it felt, like one of those shirts that’s tight in all the wrong places. When you’re stuck with a label that doesn’t fit, you can’t breathe and move freely. There’s no room to grow. I wasn’t a woman to that man, or even a person; I was just a label.

Young-woman-not-young-man
Lesser than
Un-promising
Un-interesting
Un-useful

Ever since that moment I’ve hated labels, and that feeling has only grown more intense and fierce over time. I not only chafe at labels for myself, but bristle at labels stuck to others, too, including the women of the New Testament.

Recently a newsletter called CT Women (Christianity Today) landed in my inbox with this headline: “Jesus's longest recorded conversation was with a woman.” I clicked, ready to savor again one of my favorite moments in the Bible featuring Jesus and a Samaritan woman, also known as the woman at the well. Here’s an excerpt from the article:

Most Rabbis would not speak to women—including their own wives—in public. Jesus not only shattered that norm, he did so spectacularly, carrying on his longest recorded conversation in the New Testament with a woman. She wasn’t his wife. In fact, she wasn’t even Jewish. She was a Samaritan with a bad reputation. But as she drew water from the well, Jesus drew her to himself.

“Jesus not only asked for a drink, but he also engaged this woman—who was publicly known to have committed sins of a sexual nature—in theological conversation,” writes Dena Dyer. “In doing so, he shared publicly for the very first time that he was the Messiah.”

The woman responded with belief and a newfound passion for evangelism. She was illuminated by the surprise of Jesus noticing and caring for her. From then on, she could not stop talking about Jesus in her community. As Jesus draws near to us, regardless of our reputations or standing in society, we may drink deeply of the goodness of God and share it with others, just as the Samaritan woman did.[1]

The words and the tone of the article, even though written by a woman, immediately sent me back to that night at church where a thoughtless word stuck to me like a piece of silver duct tape that, even once ripped off, leaves a sticky mess that doesn’t easily wash off. Was the woman at the well a person who had sinned sexually? Did she have a reputation as some sort of loose woman? Or was this just a label slapped on her over the years?

Since then, I’ve been thinking about the women of the New Testament who have been subject to labels and how if those labels applied over the last two millennia could somehow materialize inside my Bible, it would be chock full of ragged pieces of worn, sticky, dirty duct tape. As Question Girls, we need to keep ripping off these labels and cleaning up the residue left behind.

Let’s take a fresh look at three of these New Testament woman: the Samaritan woman, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the Mother of Jesus. For each woman, I have three questions for the biblical text: 1) What did this woman do? 2) What did this woman say? and, 3) What were the results?

The Samaritan Woman

The article from CT Women, quoted above, conjures up the all of the labels applied over the years to the Woman at the Well (John 4:4-42): she was a Samaritan (lesser than a Jew); she had a bad reputation; she was known for her sexual sin; and, she had “poor standing” in her society. Instead of taking these labels at face value, let’s ask the text itself.

What did the Samaritan woman do? A Samaritan woman came to the Sychar city well at noon to draw water and encounters Jesus, sitting alone and tired. A conversation began and went deep quickly. When the disciples returned, the woman left her water jar and headed back into the city where she told everyone about Jesus; John called this “her testimony.”

What did she say? An intense conversation between Jesus and the woman came from a simple request by Jesus: “Give me a drink.” She responded back with a challenging question: “How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?” Jesus began to talk about living water, piquing her curiosity. She peppered him with questions, “Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us the well?” Jesus responded with authority, telling her it would quench thirst and lead to eternal life for those who drink it.

Jesus changed the subject; “Go, call your husband, and come back.” She responded that she had no husband. Jesus affirmed her response, and revealed his knowledge that she had had five husbands, and currently had none (though she lived with a man).

“Sir, I see that you are a prophet,” she observed, beginning an even more arresting exchange where Jesus predicted a new kingdom with true worshipers of the Father, who would worship in spirit and in truth. She was tracking closely with him, and began to talk about the Messiah. Jesus revealed that he was the One.

After running back to Sychar, she exclaimed, “Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done. He cannot be the Messiah, can he?”

What were the results? As a result of this conversation at the well, Jesus was drawn into a deep conversation where he revealed his identity as the Messiah who is inaugurating a new kind of Kingdom, who does the will of his Father, and who offers eternal life. The woman recognized Jesus as a prophet, and then proclaimed his identity as Messiah to her city. The disciples were astonished that Jesus was speaking with a woman but did not question Jesus. Many Samaritans in Sychar believed in Jesus, asked him to stay, and he did—staying for two days with many more believing “because of his word.”

Ripping off the label. In an era where human lifespans were shorter and more fragile, both men and women often experienced multiple marriages in a lifetime. When Jesus revealed he was aware of her marital history, he did not condemn her or call her to “sin no more.” Instead, he had a theological conversation with her, showing her that he was no ordinary human and that he had a God’s-eye view of her life. The woman took this revelation and literally ran with it. She was not ashamed; she was excited and joyful, sharing the news with her community. She believed in Jesus and so did many in her community. The Samaritans of Sychar listened and repented.

The text portrays Jesus as a tired man who revealed his true identity as a prophet and the awaited Messiah to a woman who was open to a conversation with a stranger about deep universal questions, who was privileged to be the first recorded human Jesus revealed his true identity to, and who had the community’s ear and its trust. Was she an unrepentant sexual sinner with a bad reputation who was an outcast in her community? Not according to the text.

It’s time for this label to be removed, and replaced with the evidence: She was an eager listener who Jesus chose to share deep and great things with. She grasped his identity. She believed. She shared the Good News. In her response to Jesus she demonstrated her “faith and following.”[2] The Samaritan Woman was a truth-seeker, a listener, a believer, a disciple, an evangelist, and a woman who loved God and loved people.

Was she an unrepentant sexual sinner with a bad reputation who was an outcast in her community? Not according to the text.

How would this label have changed if the Samaritan woman at the well had been a man? Or, maybe a better question is, would this labels have even existed? If the Samaritan woman had been a man, would there have been a stigma to having been married five times? My suspicion is the assumption would have been that of the tragedy of multiple and untimely spousal death (perhaps in childbirth, poor things) for his five wives, with a side of sincere sympathy. His conversation with Jesus would have been admired (he was so interested in Jesus, so clever and curious about living water), and much would be made of his grass roots evangelism. More on this next Saturday, with the labels that have been applied to Mary Magdalene.

QUESTION GIRL QUESTION: What labels have stuck to you???

By the way, this Substack is all about asking questions about women in the Bible or the Church. Do you have any? Email me at questiongirlsusy@gmail.com